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Author Topic: ~ Comedy Quotes ~  (Read 8318 times)

Offline MysteRy

~ Comedy Quotes ~
« on: June 20, 2016, 07:46:00 PM »
Comedy Quotes


Famous Comedy quotes by popular authors such as Mitch Hedberg, Steve Martin, Douglas Adams, Woody Allen, Fran Lebowitz and others.




[highlight-text]I dressed up for the CD.

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2016, 07:47:42 PM »
[highlight-text]Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2016, 07:48:21 PM »
[highlight-text]Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

Will Rogers
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2016, 07:49:17 PM »
[highlight-text]My girl works at Hooters, in the kitchen.

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2016, 07:51:22 PM »
[highlight-text]I play sports...no I don't, what the Sorry?

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2016, 07:52:14 PM »
[highlight-text]A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2016, 07:55:03 PM »
[highlight-text]Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Peter Ustinov
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2016, 07:58:34 PM »
[highlight-text]I'm an ice sculptor - last night I made a cube.

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2016, 08:01:26 PM »
[highlight-text]If I were two-faced would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2016, 08:03:53 PM »
[highlight-text]I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating.

Mike Tyson
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2016, 08:05:25 PM »
[highlight-text]If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be Sorryed up.

Mitch Hedberg
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2016, 08:11:27 PM »
[highlight-text]Success didn't spoil me I've always been insufferable.

Fran Lebowitz
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2016, 08:12:20 PM »
[highlight-text]I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Mel Brooks
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2016, 08:13:23 PM »
[highlight-text]My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am.

Author Unknown
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Comedy Quotes ~
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2016, 08:14:40 PM »
[highlight-text]I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Mitch Hedberg
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