FUNNY SMS

[Global Angel]

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

[Global Angel]

''The POLITE Way to PEE!"

Teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students this question:
 Michael if u were on a date having diñner with a nice young lady, how wud u tell her that u hav to go to the bathroom?
 Michael, "Just a min i hav to go pee".
 Teacher: That would be rude & impolite. How about u SAM. Sam said "i realy need 2 go 2 toilet, i m sory". Teacher, "thats beter but stil not nice to say word toilet. Oh u little Jonny can u use ur brain?
 JONNY said,
 "Darling,may i plz b excused for a moment?I've 2 shake hands with a very dear frnd of mine, whom i hope 2 introduce 2 u after diner" :-p

[Global Angel]

Difference b/w shit & Oohh shit:
 .
 A boy Threw a love letter to a girl
 .
 but it fell on her brother..
 Shittt!
 .

And Her brother was GAY..
 Oohh ShIt
 :-P

[Global Angel]

Attention plz...!

Don't drink unboiled water..

Because..
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 Fish live in water without pampers..
 Seriously..!

[Global Angel]

A man came home late at night after a party.
 His wife yelled:
 "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
 The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
 Monday passed and he didnt see her......
 Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
 On thursday his swelling became better
 And now he could see her from the
 Corner of one eye;)

[Global Angel]

A Question Asked In A Talent Test

If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
 How Would You Recognize Your Wife?

The Answer Came:

"Why Should I ? :-P

[Global Angel]

Girl : I'm warning you
 My Mummy is coming back in half an hour..

Boy : But I'm not doing anything..
 Girl : That's why I'm warning you..

Hurry up !

[Global Angel]

Choosing Career Is Like
 Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls.

Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful,
 Intelligent, Kindest Woman,
 There's Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9 :p

[Global Angel]

A boy with a sweet girl entered a jewellery shop
 &
 Choose a ring worth 8 lacs for her.
 Gave a cheque & said she will collect ring on Monday after the cheque is cleared.
 .
 On Monday.
 Jeweller called boy:
 There's no money in your account.

Boy:
 I know,
 But, you can't imagine what a weekend I enjoyed:-)

[Global Angel]

A New Added element to the Periodic Table.

Element Name:GIRL

Symbol: G

Atomic Weight:dont even dare to ask :-D

Physical Properties..
 *boils at anything
 *can freeze at anytime
 *melts if handled wid love n care
 *very bitter if mis handled

Chemical Properties.
 *very reactive
 *highly unstable
 *posses strong affinity for gold n silver
 *money reducing agent
 *volatile when left alone

[Global Angel]

Diff B/W Ignorance & selfcontrol?

When u c mirror & u don't laugh at yourself,
 that is ignorance!

&
 When i look at u & i don't laugh,
 thats called self control:-)

[Global Angel]

Height of coolness:
 2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....
 1st guy:which paper was it?
 2nd guy:I think maths......
 1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
 2nd guy: no I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>

[Global Angel]

I Wonder If 1 Day
 Somebody Will Ever Come
 N
 Knock 0n My Door
 N
 Tell Me
 "Hey , V Have 7 Mutual Friends
 In FACEBOOK "
 Can I Come In ... =P =D

[Global Angel]

Why Men n Women Don't Understand Each Other?
 Bcoz
 God Gave Good Brains To Men
 n
 Good Hearts To Women

But

Men Use Their Hearts
 &
 Women Use Their Brains

[Global Angel]

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
 "can kids of our age have kids?"

Teacher replied " NO Never!!"

Boy said to girl :
 "see i told you not to worry!!!!".