Author Topic: ~ Dave Barry Quotes ~ (Read 8216 times)

MysteRy · « **Reply #15 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:43:50 PM »

To an adolescent there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

MysteRy · « **Reply #16 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:44:29 PM »

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

MysteRy · « **Reply #17 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:45:05 PM »

'You scratch my back and I'll sorry blood out of yours' - that is the insect motto.

MysteRy · « **Reply #18 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:45:37 PM »

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

MysteRy · « **Reply #19 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:46:58 PM »

Like many members of the uncultured Cheez-It consuming public I am not good at grasping modern art.

MysteRy · « **Reply #20 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:47:32 PM »

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

MysteRy · « **Reply #21 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:48:03 PM »

You should do your own car repairs. It's an easy way to save money and possibly maim yourself for life.

MysteRy · « **Reply #22 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:48:36 PM »

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

MysteRy · « **Reply #23 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:50:22 PM »

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads he would have made them cute and furry.

MysteRy · « **Reply #24 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:51:25 PM »

We humans do not need to leave Earth to get to a hostile deadly alien environment; we already have Miami.

MysteRy · « **Reply #25 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:52:05 PM »

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

MysteRy · « **Reply #26 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:53:08 PM »

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS because as citizens we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

MysteRy · « **Reply #27 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:54:34 PM »

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

MysteRy · « **Reply #28 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:55:31 PM »

Childbirth as a strictly physical phenomenon is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube.

MysteRy · « **Reply #29 on:** April 11, 2014, 01:57:00 PM »

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.]

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