~ Clever Jabs Quotes ~

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.

George Bernard Shaw

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

M. Grundler

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]As a woman I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls.

Rita Mae Brown

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.

Will Rogers

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Groucho Marx

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

Mark Twain

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]I'm number 10 at the box office. Right under Barbra Streisand. Can you imagine being under Barbra Streisand? Get me a bag. I may throw up.

Walter Matthau

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.

Oscar Wilde

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]I had a dream the other night. I dreamed that Jimmy Carter came to me and asked why I wanted his job. I told him I didn't want his job. I want to be President.

Ronald Reagan

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.

Hunter S. Thompson

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno

[MysteRy]

[highlight-text]The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown