Author Topic: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~ (Read 2516 times)

MysteRy · « **Reply #15 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:30:27 PM »

No Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

MysteRy · « **Reply #16 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:31:06 PM »

I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member.

MysteRy · « **Reply #17 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:31:39 PM »

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

MysteRy · « **Reply #18 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:32:12 PM »

I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

MysteRy · « **Reply #19 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:32:50 PM »

It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

MysteRy · « **Reply #20 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:33:29 PM »

Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution?

MysteRy · « **Reply #21 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:34:03 PM »

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

MysteRy · « **Reply #22 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:34:40 PM »

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

MysteRy · « **Reply #23 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:35:16 PM »

Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is too dark to read.

MysteRy · « **Reply #24 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:35:51 PM »

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.

MysteRy · « **Reply #25 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:36:24 PM »

There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes' you know he is crooked.

MysteRy · « **Reply #26 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:37:01 PM »

When I first came to this country I didn't have a nickel in my pocket - now I have a nickel in my pocket.

MysteRy · « **Reply #27 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:37:37 PM »

Since my little daughter is only half Jewish would it be alright if she went into the pool only up to her waist?

MysteRy · « **Reply #28 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:38:07 PM »

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

MysteRy · « **Reply #29 on:** August 25, 2014, 02:38:33 PM »

Politics is the art of looking for trouble finding it everywhere diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

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