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Author Topic: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~  (Read 1843 times)

Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2015, 02:11:30 PM »
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2015, 02:11:56 PM »
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2015, 02:12:23 PM »
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #18 on: August 21, 2015, 02:13:14 PM »
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr jewelry.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #19 on: August 21, 2015, 02:13:52 PM »
Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #20 on: August 21, 2015, 02:14:28 PM »
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #21 on: August 21, 2015, 02:15:02 PM »
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well it's cheaper and you get more feet.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #22 on: August 21, 2015, 02:15:33 PM »
Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #23 on: August 21, 2015, 02:16:05 PM »
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #24 on: August 21, 2015, 02:16:35 PM »
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Rita Rudner Quotes ~
« Reply #25 on: August 21, 2015, 02:17:00 PM »
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
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