~ Woody Allen Quotes ~

[MysteRy]

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

[MysteRy]

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

[MysteRy]

The best thing to do is to behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen and under try not to go bald.

[MysteRy]

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light and certainly not desirable as one's hat keeps blowing off.

[MysteRy]

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

[MysteRy]

If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.

[MysteRy]

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

[MysteRy]

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

[MysteRy]

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

[MysteRy]

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

[MysteRy]

Those modern analysts they charge so much! In my day for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.