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Author Topic: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~  (Read 1478 times)

Offline MysteRy

~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« on: September 22, 2014, 11:41:39 AM »
Henny Youngman Quotes


A British-born American comedian and violinist famous for "one-liners", short, simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire.
Henry "Henny" Youngman (originally German surname Junggman) (March 16, 1906 – February 24, 1998) was a British-born American comedian and violinist famous for "one-liners", short, simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire. His best known (and oft misattributed) one-liner was "Take my wife—please".

Here are some famous quotes by Henny Youngman. 




The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2014, 11:42:06 AM »
You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2014, 11:42:35 AM »
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2014, 11:43:04 AM »
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2014, 11:43:33 AM »
I take my wife everywhere but she keeps finding her way back.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2014, 11:44:02 AM »
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2014, 11:44:38 AM »
I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2014, 11:45:05 AM »
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2014, 11:45:34 AM »
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2014, 11:46:04 AM »
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2014, 11:46:34 AM »
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2014, 11:47:03 AM »
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2014, 11:47:29 AM »
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2014, 11:47:59 AM »
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning sleep late.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Henny Youngman Quotes ~
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2014, 11:48:27 AM »
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.
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