~ Emo Philips Quotes ~

[MysteRy]

Emo Philips Quotes


An American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. 
Emo Philips (born February 7, 1956 as Phil Soltanec) is an American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians and garden path sentences spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant.

Here are some famous quotes by Emo Philips.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

[MysteRy]

I was sleeping the other night alone thanks to the exterminator.

[MysteRy]

My computer beat me at checkers but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

[MysteRy]

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

[MysteRy]

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord in his wisdom didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

[MysteRy]

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses you would have sworn she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.