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Author Topic: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~  (Read 1718 times)

Offline MysteRy

~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« on: August 29, 2015, 10:43:48 AM »
Robert Orben Quotes


An American magician and professional comedy writer.
Robert Orben (born March 4, 1927) is an American magician and professional comedy writer. He is also an author of books for magicians. He wrote a book called "Speaker's Handbook of Humor".

Here are some famous quotes by Robert Orben.




Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2015, 10:45:00 AM »
I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2015, 10:45:37 AM »
Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2015, 10:46:16 AM »
Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2015, 10:46:45 AM »
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2015, 10:47:15 AM »
Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2015, 10:48:09 AM »
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2015, 11:00:07 AM »
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2015, 11:00:51 AM »
Older people shouldn't eat health food they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2015, 11:01:36 AM »
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2015, 11:02:08 AM »
New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2015, 11:02:39 AM »
I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2015, 11:03:09 AM »
Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2015, 11:03:36 AM »
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Robert Orben Quotes ~
« Reply #14 on: August 29, 2015, 11:04:08 AM »
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
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