Author Topic: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~  (Read 6816 times)

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #45 on: November 19, 2013, 09:45:35 AM »
Epitaph n: an inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #46 on: November 19, 2013, 09:46:07 AM »
Education n: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #47 on: November 19, 2013, 09:46:35 AM »
Infidel n: in New York one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople one who does.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #48 on: November 19, 2013, 09:47:04 AM »
Pray v: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #49 on: November 19, 2013, 09:47:38 AM »
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels levers and springs and believes it civilization.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #50 on: November 19, 2013, 09:48:10 AM »
Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is instead of as it should be.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #51 on: November 19, 2013, 09:48:39 AM »
Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #52 on: November 19, 2013, 09:49:13 AM »
A statesman who is enamored of existing evils as distin-quished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #53 on: November 19, 2013, 09:49:45 AM »
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #54 on: November 19, 2013, 09:50:21 AM »
Academe n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #55 on: November 19, 2013, 09:50:51 AM »
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #56 on: November 19, 2013, 09:51:25 AM »
Telephone n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #57 on: November 19, 2013, 09:51:54 AM »
Philanthropist: a rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #58 on: November 19, 2013, 09:52:30 AM »
Conservative n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Online MysteRy

Re: ~ Ambrose Bierce Quotes ~
« Reply #59 on: November 19, 2013, 09:52:58 AM »
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbour.