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Author Topic: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~  (Read 1537 times)

Offline MysteRy

~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« on: December 16, 2014, 01:23:44 PM »
Joan Rivers Quotes


An Emmy Award-winning American comedian, television personality and actress.
Joan Alexandra Molinsky Sanger Rosenberg, widely known as Joan Rivers (born June 8, 1933), is an Emmy Award-winning American comedian, television personality and actress. She is known for her brash manner; her loud, raspy voice with a heavy New York accent; and her numerous cosmetic surgeries. Rivers's comic style relies heavily on poking fun at herself and other celebrities, mostly about their fashion sense, or according to her, the lack thereof.

Here are some famous quotes by  Joan Rivers. 




Never floss with a stranger.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2014, 01:24:29 PM »
Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2014, 01:25:12 PM »
He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2014, 01:25:52 PM »
Diets like clothes should be tailored to you.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2014, 01:26:38 PM »
He loves to eat - he puts mayonnaise on an aspirin.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2014, 01:27:09 PM »
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2014, 01:27:36 PM »
I take him to McDonald's just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2014, 01:28:06 PM »
It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2014, 01:28:36 PM »
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2014, 01:29:10 PM »
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over he would have put diamonds on the floor.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2014, 01:30:01 PM »
I hate Billings Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck - no models. You open a catalog and point.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2014, 01:30:33 PM »
I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2014, 01:31:05 PM »
I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2014, 01:31:36 PM »
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are open late and thanks to television you can shop in bed.
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Offline MysteRy

Re: ~ Joan Rivers Quotes ~
« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2014, 01:32:03 PM »
We Can't Afford to Doubt Ourselves I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door I'll go through another door-or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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