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Cities and Travel QuotesFamous Cities and Travel quotes by popular authors such as Mark Twain, Dave Barry, Jay Leno, Joan Rivers, Fred Allen and others.
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[highlight-text]Good Americans when they die go to Paris.
Thomas Gold Appleton
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[highlight-text]London: A place you go to get bronchitis.
Fran Lebowitz
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[highlight-text]L.A. bumper sticker: Keep honking - I'm reloading.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.
Bob Hope
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[highlight-text]Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
Dave Barry
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[highlight-text]My wife loves Europe but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.
Jay Leno
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[highlight-text]Miami bumper sticker: My horn is broken-so watch for my finger.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]There is nothing safer than flying - it's crashing that is dangerous.
Theo Cowan
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[highlight-text]Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.
Dave Barry
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[highlight-text]The tanned appearance of many New Englanders is not sunburn - it is rust.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?
Charles de Gaulle
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[highlight-text]It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Groucho Marx
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[highlight-text]Take a perfect day add six hours of rain and fog and you have instant London.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.
Mark Twain
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[highlight-text]Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Fred Allen
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[highlight-text]The trouble with all these other countries is they're all being run by foreigners.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]A car is useless in New York essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.
Mignon McLaughlin
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[highlight-text]My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada.
David Steinberg
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[highlight-text]My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away as long as I'm not enjoying it.
Lee Trevino
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[highlight-text]France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
Billy Wilder
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[highlight-text]I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.
Sue Kolensky
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[highlight-text]There's nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Ross MacDonald
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[highlight-text]New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
Robert Orben
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[highlight-text]There's a lot of nice things about Denver. I just don't for the life of me know what they are.
Judy Hampton
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[highlight-text]I love the polite drivers in La Jolla. At an intersection . . . most expensive car goes first.
Kee Flynn
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[highlight-text]A small town is usually divided by a railroad a main street two churches and a lot of opinions.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]When people ask me if I have any spare change I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.
Nick Arnette
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[highlight-text]I have just returned from Boston; it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Fred Allen
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[highlight-text]I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect but I still love him.
Woody Allen
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[highlight-text]L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
Jay Leno
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[highlight-text]Always remember that you are an Englishman and therefore have drawn first prize in the lottery of life.
Cecil Rhodes
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[highlight-text]When I first came to this country I didn't have a nickel in my pocket - now I have a nickel in my pocket.
Groucho Marx
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[highlight-text]A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.
Emile Ganest
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[highlight-text]It is possible to live in San Francisco for $35 000 a year. Obviously that doesn't include food or lodging.
Kenn Carlson
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[highlight-text]I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong and he said: 'Yes: the little one does.'
Mark Twain
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[highlight-text]I hate Billings Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck - no models. You open a catalog and point.
Joan Rivers
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[highlight-text]Living in California adds ten years to a man's life. And those extra ten years I'd like to spend in New York.
Harry Ruby
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[highlight-text]The people of Seattle deny they get much rain while the rest of the country thinks of it as America's bladder.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]This summer one-third of the nation will be ill-housed ill-nourished and ill-clad. Only they call it a vacation.
Joseph Salak
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[highlight-text]texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]When we can't get away for a vacation we get the same feeling by staying home and tipping every person that smiles.
Susie Spanos
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[highlight-text]After years of mocking L.A. for its smog the people of Denver are now coughing out of the other side of their mouths.
Anonymous
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[highlight-text]One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country the American dollar will fall like a stone.
Erma Bombeck
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[highlight-text]I lived in Miami for a while in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead.
Gabe Kaplan
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[highlight-text]Chicago was started by a bunch of New Yorkers who said 'Gee I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty but it just isn't cold enough.'
Richard Jeni
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[highlight-text]Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are open late and thanks to television you can shop in bed.
Joan Rivers
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[highlight-text]In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
Mark Twain
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[highlight-text]On cable TV they have a weather channel - twenty-four hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.
Dan Spencer
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[highlight-text]I once saw a pin on a Delta Airlines employee and I asked him what the letters in Delta stand for. He said 'Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive.'
Adam Christing
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[highlight-text]I have no respect for gangs today. None. They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days like in West Side Story the gangs used to dance with each other.
Robert G. Lee
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[highlight-text]Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired you've had a headache since you arrived but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.
Simon Hoggart
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[highlight-text]I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached after traveling through Japan as well as countless hours reading studying and analyzing this fascinating culture is that you should always tighten the cap on the shampoo bottle before you put it in your suitcase.
Dave Barry