FTC Forum
Entertainment => SMS & QUOTES => Topic started by: Global Angel on December 31, 2011, 04:45:38 AM
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SANTA went to court
JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"
SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"
JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"
SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!
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After an accident,
A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights
& told u 2 go by side.
Santa: I also started d wipers
& said No, no..No no. :D
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Santa:- 'Which is better?
Google or Yahoo..?'
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Banta- 'Oh wait.I'll search it on
Google'... :D ;)
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In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..
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Bantas advise:-
Dont carry umbrella during rain
Keep WHISPER on ur head
ye ghanto tak geelepan
ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D
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Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever-
What comes first the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !
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Santa-What Is Difference
Between COFFEE Shop & WINE
Shop?
Banta-COFFEE Shop Is The
Starting Point Of LOVE & WINE
Shop Is Last Point Of LOVE
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Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It's 1394.
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Pappu while filling up a form:
What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!
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A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
"He's not my friend."
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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
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A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
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Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don't study,so i got rid of it
Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed
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Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was:
We make your dreams come true...
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Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
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To avoid the side effects!
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Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
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American: In our country ,
marriage even takes place with email.
Santa: In India, it is only with a female
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An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!‚
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Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions
Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then
For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?
Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
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Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.
Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p
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Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
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Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.
He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?‚ asked the another man.
Santa replied, “Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.‚
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Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
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Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!
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Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
“Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?‚
“Of course, dear, no trouble,‚ she replied.
“But what will you live on?‚
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Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa
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Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me
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Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?
Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and
I'll give same advice to my children also.
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Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don"t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON"T CALL ME NOW.
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Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!