FTC Forum
Entertainment => SMS & QUOTES => Topic started by: Global Angel on December 31, 2011, 03:24:40 AM
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Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"
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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said €India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air
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In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.
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Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
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In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name
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Sardar on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦
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1st ever intelligent sardar.
Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)
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A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?
Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?
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A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.
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A sardarji's boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old
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Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.
Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.
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Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:
1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man
2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits
3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also
4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.
5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)
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A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?
Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.
Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months
Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.
Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->
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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
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Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them
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Sardar: I havnt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didnt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..
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Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.
Go & sit back. I will drive auto...:D
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A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
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Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A:- They think their picture is being taken.
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Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it's your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
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Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai
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Sardar selected a short girl to marry.
Why?
Because guru ji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai ...:-P
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Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university
1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?
Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:Its loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!
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Tring Tring Tring.
Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.
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Teacher to Sardar: What is Number “Seven‚ , Even or Odd
Sardar: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Sardar:Remove the S!!
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Sardar made a call to the airport.
Asked,"How long is the journey from Punjab to America?"
Receiptionist: "One second sir....".
Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!!
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Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in "Ungli"
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Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
"50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys"
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
"50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys"
The Sardars Celebrated.
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Sardars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate “Bachelor Again‚.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is “Married Again‚.
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Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?
A:Because his doctor advised him
“Todays dinner should be light
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In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird's name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.
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A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
still he was in jail.......why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
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A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year.
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A sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.
The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.
Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay
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Teacher: what is the scientific formula for water?
Sardar: h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.
Teacher: nonsense! how did you derive that?
Sardar: auntie, it is H to O (h2o)!
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Sardar got job in a telenor call centre.
Customer: telelenor sim blocked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tension remove telenor &
put warid sim.
Thank you for calling ufone.
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A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?
Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No idea‚¦Im new to this city..
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Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?
Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.
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Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?
Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.
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Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE‚.
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2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.
Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760
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Sardar's Leave application
Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.
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Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?
Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava
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A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.
:-( Guess why ?
bcoz there it was written
"Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain"
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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it's really strange.
I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
because somebody had told him that
it is wrong to sleep with married women.
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Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?
Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.
-
Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?
Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE‚.
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2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.
Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760
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Sardar's Leave application
Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.
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Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?
Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava
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A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.
:-( Guess why ?
bcoz there it was written
"Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain"
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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it's really strange.
I've got another pair of the same at home.
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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
because somebody had told him that
it is wrong to sleep with married women.
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Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun
to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
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Sardarji opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from the office
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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When a person asked what he was doing....
He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!
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A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up-
we must find & stop her!.
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Sardar-
why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup,
why r others running?
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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard
&
comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board
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Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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Sardar's wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..
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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
"Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back."
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NURSE kept SARDAR'S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
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Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
its already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.
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Teacher: "I killed a person"
convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, "DELIVERED".
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Sardar proposed a girl......
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u.......
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I'll marry u next year.
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don't worry, I have a one more.
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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him,
"Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?"
Sardar : "Ya sure, from landline or mobile".
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Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.
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Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"
Sardar :"Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright"
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Interviewee;What is your date of birth?
Sardar;nov 28.
Interviewer;which year?
Sardar;abey ullu everyyear.
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A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"
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A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year"
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Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar's Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said", Enter Ur PIN" ;)
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Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA
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In battle Sardar was wearing mosquito net
instead of bullet proof jacket
why?
?
?
?
Saradar replied
O jis wich machar nai war sakda
goli kithon lange gi
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Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
'baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta.
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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
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Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
"WIFE" & "MOTHER"
SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With "MOTHER"
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our "WIFE"
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Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop.....:p
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Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
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Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA
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Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
"Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na":D
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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady."
After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,"Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley"
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Lawyer to sardar:geeta pe hath rakho
Sardar:Kamal hai, Seeta pe hath rakha
to baat court tak pohanch gaye,
ab bol raha he geeta pe hath rakho:p