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Robert Orben Quotes(https://friendstamilchat.in/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgeraldrfordfoundation.org%2Fcentennial%2Foralhistory%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F05%2FresizedRobertOrben.jpg&hash=74bffd6c9e352a6e6c9c1b931933b0718a16a24d)
An American magician and professional comedy writer. Robert Orben (born March 4, 1927) is an American magician and professional comedy writer. He is also an author of books for magicians. He wrote a book called "Speaker's Handbook of Humor".
Here are some famous quotes by Robert Orben.
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Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.
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I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home.
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Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people.
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Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Older people shouldn't eat health food they need all the preservatives they can get.
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It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
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New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!
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I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.
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I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.
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Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.