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Entertainment => SMS & QUOTES => Topic started by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:21:04 PM

Title: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:21:04 PM
Groucho Marx Quotes

(https://friendstamilchat.in/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F6%2F68%2FGroucho_Marx_-_portrait.jpg%2F220px-Groucho_Marx_-_portrait.jpg&hash=d3ebc7671fddb33383947ca5d565db488daf54f4)
An American comedian and film star famed as a master of wit.
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977) was an American comedian and film star famed as a master of wit. His rapid-fire delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers.

Here are some famous quotes by Groucho Marx.

(https://friendstamilchat.in/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi228.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee319%2FCAPSEC%2Farrow-down.gif&hash=68187670aa1ca20192157824d400b79f12b54105)


Humor is reason gone mad.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:22:08 PM
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:22:39 PM
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:23:11 PM
I've had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:23:42 PM
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:24:14 PM
I've had a wonderful evening . . . but this wasn't it.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:24:47 PM
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:25:22 PM
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:26:08 PM
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:26:44 PM
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:27:30 PM
Anyone can get old all you have to do is live long enough.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:28:03 PM
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:28:44 PM
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:29:19 PM
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:29:54 PM
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:30:27 PM
No Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:31:06 PM
I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:31:39 PM
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:32:12 PM
I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:32:50 PM
It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:33:29 PM
Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution?
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:34:03 PM
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:34:40 PM
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:35:16 PM
Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is too dark to read.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:35:51 PM
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:36:24 PM
There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes' you know he is crooked.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:37:01 PM
When I first came to this country I didn't have a nickel in my pocket - now I have a nickel in my pocket.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:37:37 PM
Since my little daughter is only half Jewish would it be alright if she went into the pool only up to her waist?
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:38:07 PM
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Title: Re: ~ Groucho Marx Quotes ~
Post by: MysteRy on August 25, 2014, 02:38:33 PM
Politics is the art of looking for trouble finding it everywhere diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.